How I (an idiot) installed Debian
(or ‘An idiots guide to installing Debian’)
I got Kev to do it.
No, seriously, I did.
OK then, I didn’t, I get Kev to tell me how to install it. I did this with the promise of a blowjob.
No, seriously, I did!
OK, I didn’t he did it because he is a big, lovely hunk of man frills and I love him, oooo ooogly boogly wongah.
Anyway, it’s quite easy, below is how it is done.
- Download the internet installation disk - this is a small image of about 100 or so megabytes, just enough to install the basic system. Get that here if you’re too lazy to find it yourself (like I was).
- Ok, boot from the CD, hit enter a few times and voila, it’s installed (you may get completely different and often crazy install options than the ones I had - so just go with the flow, otherwise, how the fuck will you ever learn anything eh?)
- OK, thats not quite true, there is something you need to know: it will ask you to enter a “root” password, “root” is the user that has the power to do ANYTHING IT DAMN WELL LIKES on the system, so, pick something you will remember, or you’ll have to start all over again. If you want to install, upgrade or remove anything in the future, you’ll need to know this password.
- It will also ask you to pick a username and ANOTHER password, this is also important. Debian won’t let you login to the graphical interface with the root password, that’s a big security fuck-off-and-die-slag, so you’ll need to pick a username and password, again, make it something you can remember.
- It should have left you at a command prompt, or a shell prompt, whatever you want to call it. So, now type “apt-get update” - this will update “apt-get”. You’ll need to hit enter to OK it after it tells you some crap about how much disk space it will need.
- Now, you’ve updated the updater, you need to update the core, type “apt-get dist-upgrade” (thanks Kev), which will do something that I know not what. You’ll need to hit enter to OK it after it tells you some crap about how much disk space it will need again. Oh, by the way, everytime you type something and hit enter, loads of things will happen on your screen, don’t worry about that, it’s quite normal. Don’t try to understand it either, trust me. No, I mean it, don’t bother.
- Now you’ve update the core, we need to download and update a few key things to get your system working with a graphical interface and some interesting things, currently, it’s quite useless. Like an egg. But, unlike an egg, if you boil it, it will not work again, ever.Ok, so, to do this you type “apt-get install x-window-system kdm synaptic mozilla vim icewm”. Phew, what a long, indecipherable sentence. But, it will do everything it needs to install the stuff IT needs to do the stuff YOU need. You’ll need to hit enter to OK it after it tells you some crap about how much disk space it will need again.
- OK, I think we’re nearly there. When thats all finished and you’re back to the shell prompt, type “reboot” which will, uh, what … it’s there .. nope, no idea what that does - but when it’s finished, you SHOULD have a login screen going on, asking you for the password you set earlier.
- When you’ve logged in, you’ll have crazy looking desktop and task bar, don’t worry, you may never understand them. Safe to say though, that if you’ve reached this point, then you’ve pretty much finished. You may want to install some extra stuff, like apache, or PHP and mysql (this is what I did as I wanted it as a webserver). Anyway, open up a terminal screen and “su” to root, that means type “su”, hit enter, then enter the “root” password. When you’ve done this, type “synaptic” and you’re off. (You could also use the mouse and go “Bottom left button (where the Start button in on windows) > System> Package Manager (Synaptic) and then just enter your root password into the box.
And so ladies and gentlemen, that is it, how to install Debian for the complete beginner. Don’t email me if it doesn’t work as I don’t care and frankly, I am too stupid to know how to fix it if I did care.
